What If Source Were Standing In My Physical Shoes?

This blog isn't about my being a guru or having any special knowledge to offer that isn't already known to you on an internal level. I am writing as a real person with issues, sometimes struggling to hold my world together. I admit it, I'm scared. I have more bills than I can handle, and fewer friends than I would like.  I am self conscious about my weight and often self abusive. When lacking an outer crisis or drama, sometimes I attack myself. Religion has never offered me answers that made a difference, so I have turned spiritual. I create art. I sing when there is no one around to listen--sometimes when there is, and I write.

I am so tired of making choices based on how frightened I am. I am sick of being motivated through fear responses, being crisis driven. I long . . .  yearn. . . for the comforting arms of my mother. I remember how it felt to be held by her and loved without judgment, without need. I am doing the best I can do and yet it doesn't seem to be enough.

Today I reached for inspiration from Esther and Jerry Hicks -The Teachings of Abraham, Ask and it Is Given cards, and pulled the following message. . .

What If Source Were Standing In My Physical Shoes?

Ask and It Is Given Cards, from The Teachings of Abraham

It is not your job to make something happen--your work is to simply determine what you want. If we were standing in your physical shoes, our attention would be upon bringing ourselves into alignment with the desires and preferences that we have launched. We would consciously feel our way into alignment.

Feeling my way into alignment. . .  

"I am through being motivated by fear. . !"

How can I make that into a positive statement?

"I choose to be motivated by Love. . . Joy!"

What do I want? What dreams do I have that I have been squashing through fear thinking and self doubt . . ?  What makes me feel good? How can I move myself into a feeling of strength and security?

I love to sing. I love singing and I have been making an effort to overcome my fear of the microphone and performance. I find it so much easier to talk about being fearful than to pick up a microphone, learn some lyrics and actually put myself out there. But that has been shifting. . .  

Feel my way into alignment . . .

Me and DJ- Jeff Wear, "JW"

I sang Karaoke for the first time in 20+ years, 2nd time ever, a week ago Friday, at a birthday party for my friend Kari. My hand was shaking so hard I had to grip the microphone double handed to steady myself. "I Can't Make You Love Me", by Bonnie Raitt, was the song I chose. I did a fair job, I think. JW didn't kick me out. In fact, people actually quieted in the bar to listen. . . I could do it again, couldn't I? I might have to learn a few different songs though. I don't want to be a one trick pony. . . It sure did feel good. . . 

Anyone up for The Corner Bar off Elliston Friday nights? Jeff "JW" Wear of Coyote Joe's Karaoke is DJ-ing. . .  I'm looking for a ride.