Thursday, November 30, 2017

Update on India: I have arrived

It has been wildly shocking how different things are here in India compared to living in the USA. Hyderabad is huge, a 400+ year old, densely packed city, where I am now living with my in-laws in a residential colony called Lakshmi Nagar.
Each morning for the last week, I have awaken at dawn to the Azhan/Adhan prayer being sung out ringingly over the city from the neighborhood mosque. Immediately, I can hear people begin their morning ablutions, the hawking snorts and grunts from netti pot users, people flushing their toilets, roosters crowing, the distant call of an ox two houses down who wishes to be milked. A man brushes his teeth.
I have had my first drama moment, with my blood sugar over 400. My Indian family, en mass, took me to see their favorite physician. 
The doctor's  visit was the strangest I've ever had. First of all his clinic was set up almost like a little street shop. We literally just walked up, kicked off our shoes at the door (something you do at every place you visit), stepped through the entry way to sit on a bench and wait our turn; while he held consultations in a cube like office, with sliding milky glass door which YOU closed for privacy IF you wanted it. He did have a separate room for treatment and evaluation.  We waited about 5 minutes before being received, just the length of time it took him to release the patient ahead of us. Can you imagine that? Zero reception hassle. When one patient left the doctor simply beckoned the next person warming his bench to come in with a head wobble and a waive of the hand.
There was no thought given at all toward privacy concerning medical info. Anyone on the bench could hear our conversation and, if the door was open, see our whole visit play out. I was treated like a baby; meaning my family and the doctor talked about me without including me in the conversation.   I didn't know if I should feel pissed at the loss of autonomy or laugh and enjoy having my wellbeing secured be so important to everyone.  It is a commonly held belief here that the patient should be protected from direct knowledge of their medical condition, as it may prove too shocking and be detrimental in their recovery. It doesn't help my plight that I only speak English and everyone but my husband speaks rudimentary or broken English. I chose to go with the flow and enjoy someone else taking the reigns for a moment.
The roads here are Crazy with a capital C! Drivers don't stick to their lanes, honking is a friendly greeting and a spontaneous attention seeking device they employ liberally. DONKEYS, GOATS, OXEN, children. . . you name it and I have probably seen it roaming the streets unattended. Car, auto, truck, and scooter drivers cross in front of or cut around each other randomly with honked warnings. Changing direction with a U-turn may happen at any time and anywhere. There are few traffic lights, if any, and no one pays them any mind.
Everything is filthy. You should wear socks in your sandals to protect your feet, otherwise you get snaggle toes. It is also common to cover with scarves or wraps, much like a Muslim, to protect the hair and clothes. The air is full of dust. It coats everything, houses, cars, people. . . You name it. It gets in your ears, up your nose, and in every crack and crevice. You would have to hermetically seal your house to keep the dust out.
The people stare at anyone white or black as if we are famous. Lol, Children follow me in the market and stand staring, literally doing a double take, running in off the street in numbers to look get a look at me. It is as though they have never seen a foreigner before.  I have begun to pretend I'm a movie star just to cope. I saw an African woman at the bank being treated the same way. We  exchanged smiles of understanding and acknowledgement.
On a side note, the car that my father-in-law (who I will now refer to affectionately as Babba) drives plays a tune when he backs up; Elvis's Love me Tender. It took three days for me to figure out why the song was stuck in my head. Lol
Well that is my update on India post. All is well.
Love and light.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Changing the Old Story

Several months ago, I was holding space for an older friend of mine who has been experiencing hardship. By holding space I mean that I was listening without offering feedback or council, giving only the comfort of loving presence.
As she told me about her week and caught me up on the happenings of her life, I became aware that nothing had changed for her since our last visit. In fact, nothing had changed for her in all of the many years I have known her. If I were to boil her story down to its essence, erasing the names of the players and the varied circumstances within the unfolding drama, it was the same story she has been repeating throughout the course of her life.

In the growing awareness of this realization, I found myself somehow less impacted or personally caught up in the drama of it, and better able to listen objectively from a place of true love. I found my thoughts about the situations, my judgement of the participants, evaporating in the realization that she was creating this; hidden in these stories were the beliefs shaping her reality and experience.

I said nothing. My friend isn't the kind of person who looks to others for guidance or teaching. In her mind SHE is the teacher. Offering her the observation that she is repeating the same complaints, retelling the same story of abuse, poverty, neglect and unloving behavior, would have fallen on deaf ears. She is not yet able to receive the observation that she is holding a consistent frequency and vibration offering of pain, poverty and victimization. She doesn't believe that she has the power to create or change her reality.

Experience within our relationship has shown me that she would most likely have absorbed my words as criticism and a lack of empathy for her current situation; because that perspective would confirm and validate the belief she has in her own victimhood and lack of power over her situation.

The inability to recognize our own patterns of behavior and a tendency to squeeze any feedback from life into our established beliefs about who we believe we are, is common in the egoic experience. Putting aside our beliefs --upon which we are taking actions, forming relationships, and creating our lives-- even temporarily to consider that one or more of those beliefs may be based on  false premise can begin a life altering awakening.

Through being an example, my friend has illuminated for me the lesson in today's card; which is helping me re-frame the thoughts and beliefs I have held about myself and my personal back story. This lesson isn't just about money and financial abundance.  It holds true in all areas of  experience. Telling myself new stories about life, power, purpose, wealth etc. has shifted my attitude, my vibrational offering, and the direction of my path. Consequently, my whole experience of life is shifting for the better. Big changes are afoot.

On a side note . . .

Next week I will be flying to India to stay with my husband's family. I am unsure of how long I will be there, but am willing to imagine it becoming my new home base of operations.  Wish us well!

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Source as Divine Progenitor

Source
The Flower of Life

When I use the word Source, I am referring to the creative source of all life and the multi-verse, in which every possibility exists. I don't use the word God, as the concept of a Creator God has, for me, become limited through cultural religious interpretation, biases, and misuse. By using the word Source  instead, I am hoping to reopen, for myself and others like me, ideas about a divine creative and expanding, intelligent power underlining and connected to all of creation, and an intelligent design to a living system in which we have an active participatory role.

It is my personal belief that we are existing in a fractal multi-verse that has one creative, divine, conscious Source. Through approaching and experiencing life in this way, I embrace all people and ways, religious or otherwise, as being in divine order, each with its own perfection and place within the consciousness of Source. If asked how I came to this belief I would have to answer, my shamanic experiences using Ayahuasca have proven to me and expanded the understanding of what I have studied and read over the course of my personal life journey. In part, the purpose of this blog is to share those influences and record that journey, so others may have the benefit of my experience as they seek their own connection and exploration of Source.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

The Importance of Building a Relationship with Source

2017 is here and world events seem to be moving so quickly. It is all too easy to identify and become caught up in the swirling maelstrom moving around and through our lives. Every direction we turn we are faced with changes and challenges. Life seems so uncertain. The planet is on fire with the consequences of human indifference and mismanagement. The United States political scene is in upheaval. People have little or no confidence in their elected leadership. There are wars and rumors of wars. Humanity has overgrown the space allotted to it within the circle of Life. And yet. . .

In times of uncertainty, strife, pain, and illness we are forced by circumstances to find new ways of coping or adapting. These are the moments we must go within and discover or rediscover ourselves, our needs, beliefs, and drives. These are the moments of transformation, when we are most likely to reach deep and connect with Source.

Ask yourself what this present moment is challenging you with. 

Are you struggling with negative core beliefs about money, need, insufficiency, worthiness? Are you being undervalued or marginalized? Have you undervalued yourself? Have you lost sight of your own worth, or integrity? Are you being challenged to redefine your idea of self, your role, or place in society? Are circumstances demanding you reevaluate your ideas of superiority, or inferiority?

Ultimately, all of the illusions which create conflict and pain in our lives --need, insufficiency, superiority, inferiority-- find their root in one illusion. 
No matter what triggers our circumstances, the fundamental root cause of our discontent is the illusion of separation from Source. (Refer to Communion With God, by Neale Donald Walsch)

Abraham Teachings, Ester Hicks
Know that you can never be separated from Source, but you can believe in a separation and therefore experience the effects of it. 

When you release your doubt and your fears of inadequacy, allowing yourself to accept the inseparable nature of your relationship to Source, you will feel, know, and begin to experience the bounty of that connection. 

That is why. . . 


My Most Important Relationship Is With My Source . . .



Getting into the Vortex Cards



There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve than the relationship between you, in your physical body, right here and now, and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come. If you tend to that relationship first and foremost, you will then and only then have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships. Your relationship with your own body; with money; with your parents, [partner], children, grandchildren, and your world. . . will all fall easily into alignment once you tend to this fundamental relationship first.