Surrendering to the Flow- How My Greatest Fear Became My Blessing.

Some time back, I posted an update about returning from India, my struggle with fear, and the challenges of returning to the States owning only a carry-on suite case filled with ethnic Indian clothing. After that post, there was a long break where I didn't have it in me to write. Today I feel the urge to talk about that space of time.

In the year since our return we have experienced many challenges and many blessings.  On the "Challenge" side, I spoke of being reliant on family for support, as we searched for jobs and took action to build new lives. We were greatly blessed in that I have a generous aunt who happened to need a house sitter over the winter. Which was how Source met our needs for housing last year. From November 2018, until mid June 2019, we stayed in her home as house sitters. It was during that time I wrote the blog Reaching For Improved Thoughts, which expressed the crushing weight of fear I was grappling under.  Writing the blog helped me gather strength and re-frame my perspective in the light of the spiritual work I am doing. I guess this blog is about sharing the success I've had when reaching for improved thoughts and surrendering to the flow. During that time of blog-silence, I have learned that even when we experience our worst fears we do not have to suffer.

Source will assemble all the willing components for our benefit. 

Our job is to allow . . . Source to work magic.

Sometimes our worst fear coming true puts us into alignment for our blessings. I say that because in June and July my husband and I experienced homelessness (the thing I was most afraid of) after we willingly left the shelter of my aunt's support. Although she would have allowed us to stay longer, our presence in her home beyond the agreed upon length of stay would have created hardship for her. We chose to surrender to the flow, to willingly exit at the agreed upon time. We had no idea how long we would be homeless.  We only had our commitment to the belief in Source as generous provider, working on our behalf; even though we couldn't imagine how things would unfold or what the most beneficial outcome would look like.

We had not been able to secure permanent full time employment. I was working a part-time job but other than that the only headway we'd made was in securing a car, car insurance, and assistance through the MDHS Bridges program for food stamps.  Still, rather than cling to my aunt for continued support, we moved out into the unknown and trusted Source to provide for our needs. Turns out that was the best thing we could have done. We took our car, with the camp gear (tent, air mattress, Coleman stove) that we had recovered from a friend, got a camp site at Sleepy Hollow State Park and settled in.

As for being homeless, it was as easy a time of homelessness anyone ever spent. We treated each day like a camp vacation, encouraging each other in seeking those "best thoughts," and in so doing my deepest fear (homelessness) turned into a huge blessing.

You see, BECAUSE we had no home address, when I applied for low-income housing we found ourselves bumped to the top of a 5 year waiting list for the apartment we are now occupying. Had I used my aunt's address when filling out the application we would have been left waiting. 

As if further evidence were needed that Source will provide; our apartment is placed within walking distance of my husband's new job. Irfan has been able to find work as a substitute teacher, in one of the best school districts in Mid-MI. There are 4 schools to rotate between, clustered within blocks of our apartment. The kids (and their parents) are engaged in learning and responsive. He is loving it, and I am able to continue working part time without stress.

Today, I sit, warm, and cozy in beautiful DeWitt MI; while outside the world is covered in ice and snow.  I have everything I need with enough to share, and to spare.

Without our pushing (or even our awareness,) Source placed us in a location that meets all of our wish-list desires: a large apartment, in a well maintained pet-friendly facility --next to a dog park, within easy access to walking trails, goods and services, a nature preserve, with short travel times to nearly every side of the greater Lansing area. I could go on, but you get the point. We couldn't have planned our way into a better situation. Source assembled all of the desired components. It was only our willingness to surrender control over the "how" which opened the doors, allowing the blessings to flow in.

I live in amazed gratitude.