. . . the custom of venerating deceased ancestors who are considered still a part of the family and whose spirits are believed to have the power to intervene in the affairs of the living.
In the fundamental Protestant religious culture of my upbringing ancestor veneration was not only discouraged it was considered a sin. The idea that our ancestors were still accessible to us and might assist us in any way was one that threatened the control and powers of the Church. I grew up under colonializing religious indoctrination that actively sought to defame and repress any such teachings.
Part of my spiritual path and personal healing work has been to recover these ancestral teachings. It hasn't been easy but is something I am receiving enormous personal satisfaction in exploration of and growing every day.
What I set out to discover and why . . .
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| My Kindergarten pic |
I began my journey on a mission. You see, I have a distant memory of my Great Grandmother, Eldred Bricker-Donahue. sharing with me a bit of her story. (Sorry, I have no pictures of Great Grandma)
We happened to be visiting her when she noticed I was in distress and enquired about it. I was being bullied at school for being well, brown. The children were calling me "n***** kid" and no one would play with me or allow me to be their friend. Later during that visit, much to everyone's astonishment, she asked my mother if I could spend the night. As we were set to return the following day, it was agreed that I could stay.
None of us had ever spent the night there before, so it was a big deal. I remember going upstairs in her house for the first time ever that night. She was very strict about where children were allowed to go. Other than the kitchen and the parlor where she had a piano, I'd never been in any of the other rooms. The five of us children were strictly forbidden to enter the house and mostly only ever played in the yard. That evening when she tucked me in she shared an age-appropriatly edited version of her life story.
"I think it is because of me honey, that the kids are picking on you. It's because I am half Indian/native. It's because you have my color in you. I want you to know that you have good blood; that you are from good people, noble people. It's not because of something you've done wrong."
Not her exact words, but that was the gist, the start of what was a tearful and heartbreaking recounting of lost family, residential school, beatings and abuse the likes of which were too harsh for her to detail. We wept together holding each other tightly. She told me that no one in our family knew she was mixed blood because her husband had been denied the right to marry a 'savage' by his family. As a couple they had decided to hide her heritage; pretending she was a different girl when he later brought her to meet them. She talked about racism and how once she was grown she hadn't been able to find her family; that they would only have rejected her for marrying a white man. She cried most about how no one would remember her and how she was lost to her own people. She thought they were dead.
My Great Grandmother didn't believe I would remember her story as I was very young, just over 6 years; but I never forgot that night or my promise to remember. She told me no one would believe me if I shared what she'd told me. For the most part this was true. My father (her grandson) disbelieved. My mother considered it impossible for a child of 6, without any knowledge of history, to make such a thing up. Her say-so was enough to silence my father's vocal objections and set him thinking.
It wasn't until this pandemic buried us in isolation that I had an opportunity and the motivation to prove to myself that this memory was accurate; that I did indeed feel my ancestral blood calling. To honor my Great Grandmother, I set out on the path of discovery; submitting my DNA and my brother's DNA for genetic testing.
Why Practice Ancestor Veneration?
From a secular point of view, reconnecting with and understanding our ancestral history holds a wealth of benefit. It offers us an opportunity to discover and explore where and who we come from, the influences faced by our ancestors; all of which impact who we are and how we have been shaped by history.
It is hard to heal something that has been hidden from view or repressed. Healing starts from within. If we want to heal our society, we have to start with healing ourselves. For me ancestor veneration started as healing ancestral wounds and generational traumas.
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| A map of my Ancestry |
DNA testing provides a wealth of family information pertaining to health conditions, as well as evidence links to historical events, migration patterns, economic depression, pandemics etc. which all have a lasting impact on families, generational traumas and family health. Exploring our roots using science also helps remove the backlash of familial disbelief if not disapproval. It's kind of difficult for other family members to deny indigenous ancestry with a genetics report sitting on the kitchen table.
There is also tremendous psychological benefit for reframing our self concept by using these DNA record discoveries. Since generational trauma has an inheritable biological component, impacting brain development and overall health, making an effort to reconnect with our ancestral roots is beneficial even without respecting a spiritual belief in and practice of ancestral veneration. Scoff if you will, veneration practices are enriching for much more than tapping into a power source or currying favor with the dead. I believe in the power and influence of my ancestors; even if I am only acting in faith there is power to be had in it. Veneration becomes as much about healing and honoring ourselves as it is about remembrance or a belief in the power or influence of ancestral spirits.
It isn't necessary to prove that our ancestral spirits are still moving among us or energetically powerful enough to impact and intervene in the affairs our lives. Our ancestors' experiences live in our biology and in the effects of generational trauma, inherited as illnesses and family dysfunction. It is enough to begin the healing internally when we honor our ancestral history; making an effort to reconnect and repair relationships with the living and those aspects of our heritage which have been lost to us.
This is just the beginning of a story I am excited to share with you. It isn't just my story or even the most tragic aspect of what I have discovered. It is simply one of many stories that connects me to other stories and helps me find my place in history.
